Marvel NOW! That's What I Call Comics

By "now" you've heard the news: Marvel is going to cancel and restart many of its flagship titles this fall in a plan to freshen and invigorate the series. The new program, titled Marvel NOW!, will team up Avengers and X-Men in The Uncanny Avengers (not to be confused with The Mighty X-Men), returns Jean Grey to the Marvel Universe in all her multi-colored glory, finds a way to replace old white one-eyed Nick Fury with young black one-eyed Nick Fury, pushes into the spotlight Rocket Racoon (never a bad thing), gives Thor some honkin' big swords, and reintroduces all your favorite Star Comics characters into an original super-hero team led by Royal Roy and Wally the Wizard!



Marvel plans that this brand-new jumping- off on point and renumbering of many issues will please and delight comics fandom, who have repeatedly demanded and rejected change in the Marvel Universe's status quo. But what else can you expect from the all-new, all-different Marvel NOW!? Yours little stuffed truly talked to my mole at Marvel


...and I'm happy to be able to share this with you: here's lots more of what you can expect from Marvel NOW! (I think you are supposed to shout the NOW! when you say it) this fall. So enjoy the new secrets of... Marvel NOW! Now!

• Instead of beginning with "Stan Lee Presents," all Marvel Comics will be headlined with "Walt Disney in Association with the Walt Disney Company Corporation, Walt Disney Productions, Walt Disney Entertainment, Disney Consumer Products and Walt Disney Theme Parks Present"
• Reuse the plots from "Heroes Reborn"
• In his new origin, Daredevil blinded by a radioactive Kardashian
• Northstar divorces his husband; marries Kevin Keller
• Original five members of the X-Men replaced by Wolverine, Deadpool, Punisher, Thanos, and Wolverine
• New digital comics format allow readers to download and pirate comics within seconds
• Spider-Man now carries guilt of having personally beaten Uncle Ben to death in an argument over wheatcakes
• The New Universe, and this time we're gonna make that puppy stick
• Brian Bendis will probably write something
• Reed Richards divorces Sue, remarries with younger trophy wife Mary Jane Watson
• Annual crossover with superheroes from Earth-2
• Marvel Now! Pogs
• Tony Stark's drinking problem replaced by OCD; each issue to feature 8-10 pages of Tony washing his hands
• Dark Power Pack
• Carol Danvers demoted to Lieutenant Marvel
• Wolverine's claws now made of delicious candy
• Give The New Warriors their own book one more time. Kids love The New Warriors, right?
• Comic book printing to introduce fifth color
• Nick Fury Jr. revealed to have five-year-old illegitimate son missing one eye, who takes command of SHIELD
• Psylocke's rear end to get its own four-issue limited series
• Marvel to publish new Batman comic; bets DC won't even notice
• Holding the line at $5.99