Friday, June 08, 2012

See that girl, watch that girl, diggin' the Jubilee Queen

Okay, so yesterday I was telling you all about Queen Elizabeth II's appearances in the DC Universe, and how she usually wound up getting saved (as have us all) by Batman. Yes, I know yesterday I also covered some of her appearances in Marvel's Captain Britain comic, but hey: that's Marvel UK, so it doesn't count. There will now be a slight pause for me to be pelted with bricks by fine folks such as Dez Skinn, Steve Dillon, Brian Hitch, Dave Gibbons, Alan Davis, Alan "My Name Is Also Alan" Moore, and Neil Tennant out of Pet Shop Boys. So I think maybe I'd better stick to what I know: 1) comic books and 2) wearing elegant hats...



Speaking of Marvel now, some comic book history sites will tell you that this comic is the first appearance of Queen Elizabeth II in comic books:


Cover of Marvel Mystery Comics #47 (September 1943), pencils and inks by Alex Schomburg


But they are wrong with a capital WHIR. Well, at least partway: this is actually King George and his wife Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon...we know her a Britain's beloved late Queen Mother and the...well, Queen's mother. And she can go get her own comic book. She didn't even have the good grace to appear in a story with Namor or the Torch...instead, she's teamed up with Timely's Angel, who not even Stan Lee remembers anymore. Then again, the story did feature a villain named Count Lust, so Frederick Wertham was all over that thing.


Panel from "The Unwilling Corpse" in Marvel Mystery Comics #47 (September 1943), pencils and inks by Gustav Schrotter


No, to find what I think might be the first appearance of Queen Elizabeth II in a proper comic book(y-type of periodical), you have to stretch waaaaaay across the newsstand to grab that copy of MAD without your mom seeing. It's only 1956 so it's still costs one thin quarter (cheap!):


Cover of MAD #27 (April 1956), pencils and inks by Jack Davis


Can't find Her Majesty? Well, just find the sparkling bare bottom of baby New Year '56 and look to the immediate right:



MAD skewered every real life personality during its glorious heyday (i.e., when you were reading it at the age of ten), and our pal the Queen was no exception. Here's a beautifully illustrated comic strip by grandmaster Wally Wood which addresses a problem Prince Charles still probably has today:


from "Comic Strip Heroes (Taken From Real Life)" in MAD #48 (July 1959), script by Frank Jacobs, pencils and inks by Wally Wood


I'm assuming the resemblance in the second panel between Charles and a certain "What—Me worry?" mascot of said magazine was purely coincidental.

Here's another caricature of Elizabeth in the very next issue:


from "Family Magazines" in MAD #49 (September 1959), script by Arnie Kogen, pencils by George Woodbridge


But if you think MAD doesn't count as a comic book once it passed ish #23, then, as far as I can find, Queen Elizabeth II's first comic book appearance was one of the greatest comics of all time, and it's quite a doozy!


Panels from "Herbie and the Loch Ness Monster" in Herbie #3 (August 1964), script by Richard E. Hughes as Shane O'Shea, pencils and inks by Ogden Whitney, letters by Ed Hamilton


The Queen was a frequent and frequently amorous guest-star in Herbie...but then again, who didn't love Herbie? Communists, I tell you. Rotten dirty red commies.


Panel from "Clear the Road for Skinny!" in Herbie #18 (June-July 1966), script by Richard E. Hughes as Shane O'Shea, pencils and inks by Ogden Whitney, letters by Ed Hamilton


Which is not to say that QE2 was always portrayed the same within Earth-Herbie's internal canon:


Panel from "Almost a King!" in Herbie #22 (December 1966), script by Richard E. Hughes as Shane O'Shea, pencils and inks by Ogden Whitney, letters by Ed Hamilton


I'm not quite certain what's up with the Queen's diction there. Perhaps she was just trying to tell him he was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. Whatever: we salute you, Herbie and American Comics Group, for giving us the world's most accurate and authentic portrayal of Queen Elizabeth II!

Oh yeah, I promised you some stuff about Marvel Comics, didn't I? Ehhhhhh, here's Deadpool.


Panels from Deadpool v.4 #43 (November 2011), script by Daniel Way, pencils by Carlo Barberi, inks by Walden Wong, colors by Jorge Gonzalez, letters by Joe Sabino


Deadpool is in London for some reason or another (c'mon, you don't read Deadpool for internal logic, do you?) and he's stolen and is driving a Peel P50, the world's smallest production car. You (or at least I and all right-thinking people) may recognize it as the car that Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson drove through the BBC Television Centre building:



I promised you the Queen and Deadpool and here they are...well, the Queen is slightly off camera and she's not talkin' crazy like Deadpool always is, but take my word for it.



Deadpool has taken the Queen hostage, and as usual he really doesn't have a plan worked out in advance:



But he's good at pulling out an idea from his sleeve, or wherever it is he keeps his plans:



As Deadpool is captured, the Queen runs for freedom...but wait: there's been a switcharoo! Ya gotta love those things.



Of course it turns out that's Deadpool dressed in the Queen's frock and the Imperial margarine crown, and he's left the Queen tied up in civilian clothing. Now, here I'm thinking that he missed the very slapstick opportunity to put Queen Elizabeth in the Deadpool suit and have her head-bashed by the security guards. And then we could have a short entry in the next edition of The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe for DEADPOOL II (Queen Elizabeth II)



Now you think an appearance where she's undressed and tied up by Deadpool would be Queen Elizabeth's weirdest Marvel Comics appearance. And you'd be wrong. Let me introduce you to X-Men: True Friends, aka "The One Where Kitty Vows to Kill All the Nazis."



Here's the pitch: Shadowcat and Phoenix (Rachel, not Jean) have been castaway in time, winding up in Scotland in 1936, where they team up with bone-clawed Logan to fight against Baron Strucker and the Shadow King. What, you couldn't fit the Red Skull in this one, Claremont?


Panels from X-Men: True Friends #1 (September 1999), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Rick Leonardi, inks by Al Williamson and Sam de la Rosa, colors by Shannon Blanchard, letters by Tom Orzechowski


Any time you're in a pub quiz and you get asked about the great loves of Kitty Pryde's life, be sure to pinch yourself, because you're clearly dreaming. But if it really is happening, after you manage to answer "Peter Rasputin" and "Pete Wisdom," don't forget the other great lost love of Shadowcat's life, Alasdhair "Not Peter" Kinross. Oh, and of course Lisabet is the young Princess Elizabeth. Who else could it be? Gosh, isn't she relentless cute? Don't ya just wanna punch her in the face?



Check it out:the future Queen is swearing!



Why, that can't be right! The Queen would no more swear than would Betty Cooper!



Of course, meanwhile, enter...NAZIS!


Panes from X-Men: True Friends #2 (October 1999), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Rick Leonardi, inks by Al Williamson and Jimmy Palmiotti, colors by Shannon Blanchard, letters by Tom Orzechowski


Well, of course, Wolverine etc. etc. etc. yadda yadda yadda too early for Captain America etc. etc. etc. big fight back to the future. And of course, then Kitty finds out just who "Lilabet" was:


Panes from X-Men: True Friends #3 (November 1999), script by Chris Claremont, pencils by Rick Leonardi, inks by Al Williamson, colors by Shannon Blanchard, letters by Tom Orzechowski


Of course, it wouldn't be Claremontean High Drama without dueling speech balloons on the penultimate page...



Duck, Liz! Those speech balloons are crowding up on you! They're gonna getcha! Oh yeah, and that symbolic final "The End" panel. Man, the X-Men was soapy in those days, weren't it?



So, in summary: Queen Elizabeth II in comic books! May you reign sixty more years, Your Majesty! (Sentiment not necessarily valid if your name is Charles.)




3 comments:

SallyP said...

Haw! It's true though. Queen Elizabeth was MUCH prettier than Ladybird.

Chance said...

Oh, Claremont... such a terrible, terrible writer. Seems great when you're 13 though.

-- MrJM said...

We are amused!